Earth is Metal Hoodie

Good Things Take Time (Even in Space)

Free shipping on orders over $79, because supporting curiosity, science, and the vast weirdness of the universe deserves a little reward.

Orders ship within 7 days. We’re operating within the bounds of earths gravity, not warp speed. Once your order launches from our hands, A Delivery Service takes over mission control and you’ll usually receive it in 2–5 days. Track it like a satellite or forget about it entirely until it lands - we respect both approaches

Returns

The “Houston We Have a Problem” Policy

We want you to love your gear. If something arrives damaged, defective, or just feels… cosmically off, we’ll fix it. No black holes, no bureaucracy.

Here’s the directive:

Received something damaged or defective? Full refund. No questions.

You’ve got 30 days from purchase to contact us here at AstronaMe Mission Control.

Items need to be unused and in the condition they arrived in.

Email us at info@astrona-me.com
— real humans here, not aliens (yet).

We’re not a faceless megacorp floating somewhere in low Earth orbit. If something’s wrong, reach out. We’re all just trying to enjoy the universe without intergalactiv=c drama.

Policy subject to change, but we promise to keep it grounded in common sense.